ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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