Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize