It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
