I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
