allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
