Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
