her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
