apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
