Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
