smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
