does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
