Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
