so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
