i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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