Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize