we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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