his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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