You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
