i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
