In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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