he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
