do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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