You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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