also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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