How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
