hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
