So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
