what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
