College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize