I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
