Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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