she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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