why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize