with your own penis?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
