Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize