i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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