good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
