R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize