So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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