TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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