Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
