i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
