Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize