Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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