i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
