but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
