what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
