Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
