More tranny stories later!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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