She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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