I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
