we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
