do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
