scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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