brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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