he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. đ
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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