I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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